Here We Go!

I thought I would make this official!  One of the things on my bucket list is to have my own blog!  Whether or not someone actually takes the time to read what it is that I am thinking, or doing, or thinking OF doing....well that's up to you!  I often get the question, "what are your hobbies?"  I find myself really thinking of answers to that question for a long time.  Well, now I say I write in my blog!

Today was a difficult day for me.  I applied for a job that I truly feel I deserve but I didn't get it.  I worked hard for about 2 weeks, sleep deprived, husband deprived, and food deprived; yet still didn't get it.  I learned a lot about myself though and I am excited to share it with the world of bloggers!  One day I went to sleep a silly 20 something-year-old and woke up an adult!  I am not sure how that happened and I am not sure I will ever really know; but I don't care.  Not getting this job means that I can handle being rejected and I won't die.  It isn't the end of the world, but now I will just have to re-evaluate my position and what it means to me.  After getting the (dreaded) phone call at about 7:30 last night I downed my glass of wine and sat in my recliner starring at whatever was on my TV for hours.  I am lucky enough to have a wonderful and supportive husband to pull me out of my slump and put me to sleep at about 2 am.  I found it within to rise out of bed this morning and actually show my face at work!  I DID IT AND I SURVIVED!  I got rejected and I met rejection and it hurt but I am still sitting here to talk about it.  "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!"  I get it!

I appreciate my co-workers!  My team members!  They were all so supportive, even the 100th one that said, "so seriously, how are you!"  After a little snap I think he got it!  I am off tomorrow which I am even more grateful of, maybe this will actually give me adequate time to digest what just happened!  So this is what I learned from this experience, I tried my best at something and actually didn't win but it's ok.  I still love my TMs and they still love me.  At the end of it all I am still employed with insurance.  No one looks down on me because I didn't succeed....this actually gives me more opportunities!

Let me explain my opportunities.  Why is it that I am still pondering the decision of moving to Colorado?  Every time I get pist at something I blame it on that I live here!  Well, I love it for one reason and one reason only!  My husband Steve.  Colorado has done wonders for him and it brought us together.  I am forever grateful for that.  However, I don't ski, snowboard, or hike and I have accumulated asthma from living here.  So now I ask myself, "is this the time for us to make a move?"  I didn't get the job therefore, we are not tied down to CO longer?  Now is the time for Steve and I to set some goals and really "envision" our future.  So this is where we sit.  The toss up of families!  Mine in "the smallest town in USA" Peshtigo, WI or big city life in CA?  I know either way we are lucky to have wonderful family that supports us but this is where we sit tonight.  Just a thought.  Just love.  Just being happy.

Well, for those of you who find yourself reading this....what is it tonight that you find yourself pondering about?  I know I "ponder" everyday so tune in, I may feel like "pondering" about friendship tomorrow!  Off to drink a little VINO and make something for dinner....greens and squash thanks to a special little blogger for that thought!

Muchas Lovas!